A Cry for Help into The Void

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Hello kind internet surfer,

This post is honestly written like a mess right now, this is basically my mental state on your screen - a jumble of panic and dispair. I’ll edit this over the next few days when I’ve had a chance to have some kind of sleep and not so everywhere. There is also some more info in this thread if you have time

Right now I’m going through a huge financial death spiral that seems to get worse every day, equally my mental health is free falling downwards fast after being intentionally burnt out by an ex-employer, the stress of not eating while trying to exist, and the constant flow of rejections on a daily basis.

I’ve been forced in to unemployment at a time the economic powers have decided to ramp up prices and fuck literally everybody for every penny. I have no pennies and this is hurting bad. I’ve applied for a literal thousand jobs, ones I’m qualified for, ones that I’m overqualified for, ones that pay great, and others that pay a hundred euro more than what I’m on now.

I’ve used all the tricks in the books, pulling on my LinkedIn network, friends, writing every cover letter by hand with the right amount of keywords, getting ChatGPT to write cover letters with nothing but keywords, unique CVs per job, you name it, I’ve done it. Nothing has worked and I’m getting deeper into this hole I’ll never escape from.

This week alone after one of the creditors I owe tried to force my bank to give them literally all my money (this is a French thing and is shockingly legal) my bank charged me 105€ to write these people a letter to say I had no money, today I got my electric bill that is over 200€ (thanks again Macron for dropping the price shield), I still owe all kinds of debt, and right now the only place I can pay anything from is my food budget.

On top of this my rent guarantee insurance is up for renewal in September (512€ for the year split in two payments) to be able to remain in my house, my rent went up today, the tax office decided I owe them 600€ and these payments start this month. That leaves a gap of about 600€ of money I need to just exist in this nightmare until October. This is also compounded by the credit card insurance that determined that their unemployment policy doesn’t cover my particular flavour of unemployment, so I’m having to pay that back too.

edit: better detailed here

I have to pay exceptionally :

• Rent insurance to keep my home (512€ over two months)
• Electric bill of 232€ + 86€ in arrears arrears paid
• Taxes, 600€ divided 4 payments
• 105€ in bank charges for a failed lien on my funds by a creditor paid using a donation

This is where this post comes in, I genuinely have no way out of this mess and right now I’m between not sleeping, over sleeping, hugging a cat while crying and having non stop suicidal thoughts. During all of this, I’ve been socially excluded, I can’t go anywhere since I can’t afford to take public transport, I’m exhausted physically from having to walk 10km+ to do anything and mentally exhausted since the harassment at work started over a year ago. Occasionally I do also snap on social media, which I’m sure is a great look for a job seeker who is a professional.

If you can spare a bit of cash

If there is anything you can do, no amount is too small and I’m hoping to raise 600€ if it is possible, the fastest way is via my bank Bunq in either € Euro or £ Pound Sterling.

Alternatively, I have a Ko-fi page or you can donate US dollars or Canadian dollars using Stripe.