Aviso de conteúdo: Este artigo contém várias descrições do que acontece sob amatonormatividade, além de uma breve menção a sexo em relacionamentos queerplatônicos.
Também menciona algumas invalidações de experiências aplatônicas/aqueerplatônicas e de quem sente/não sente atração alternativa. Eu pessoalmente não acho que tenha nada particularmente pesado, mas não custa avisar.
Esta postagem é sobre atração alternativa, já que não existem referências detalhadas sobre o assunto em português. Alternative (com final de palavra flexível) é minha tradução para alterous. Vou explicar depois o motivo desta tradução.
O objetivo desta postagem é informar sobre o que atração/orientação alternativa pode significar, e sobre como cheguei nestas conclusões. Portanto, esta postagem não será um apanhado sobre a história do termo ou sobre todes es discussões e símbolos existentes, e sim apenas algo que tenta trazer mais detalhes sobre o conceito.
Recomendo ter algum conhecimento sobre a existência de mais de um tipo de atração antes de ler esta postagem, mesmo que seja superficial. Se você precisar saber mais sobre isso, sugiro que leia esta página e os links presentes nela.
A primeira vez que vi bandeiras e uma definição de alterous foi aqui.
Alterous attraction is described as neither being (entirely/completely) platonic nor romantic, & is an attraction best described as wanting emotional closeness without necessarily being (at all or entirely) platonic &/or romantic, & is used in the place of -romantic or -platonic (so say bi-alterous instead of bi-romantic). Someone can be both alterous & romantic &/or platonic & can have varying degrees on attraction, ultimately feel discomfort / unease / or just a sense of inaccuracy in calling it wholly romantic or platonic. Similar to queerplatonic/quasiplatonic/quirkyplatonic attraction but not quite the same.
Traduzindo:
Atração alternativa é descrita como não sendo nem (inteiramente/completamente) platônica nem romântica, e é uma atração melhor descrita como querer proximidade emocional sem ser necessariamente ser (relacionada com ou inteiramente) platônica e/ou romântica, e é usada no lugar de -romântique ou -platônique (como, digamos, bi-alternative ao invés de bi-romântique). Alguém pode ser alternative e romântique e/ou platônique e pode ter vários graus de atração, [mas] no final das contas sentir desconforto / inquietação / ou simplesmente um sentimento de imprecisão em chamá-la completamente de romântica ou platônica. Similar a atração queerplatônica/quasiplatônica/quirkyplatônica sem ser exatamente isso.
Caso este bloco de texto tenha sido confuso, acredito que seja nisso que ele queria chegar:
- Atração alternativa tem a ver com querer proximidade emocional;
- Ela pode não ter nada a ver com atração romântica e platônica, ou pode ser parcialmente romântica e/ou platônica;
- Você pode usar -alternative assim como usa -sexual, -romântique ou outras orientações (assim como uma pessoa pode ser birromântica e/ou bissexual, ela pode ser bialternativa);
- Atração alternativa ocorre independentemente de outras atrações. Ou seja, é possível sentir atração alternativa independentemente de ser arromântique ou alorromântique (fora do espectro arromântico), e/ou de ser aplatônique ou aloplatônique;
- Atração alternativa é similar à atração queerplatônica, sem ser a mesma coisa.
Meses depois - possivelmente mais ou menos um ano depois - soube de um blog para trazer visibilidade a pessoas que sentem atração alternativa e que consideram ela importante, Alterous Albatross. No blog, a descrição do que é atração alternativa é mais simplificada; só diz que não é completamente romântica ou platônica, e que é um desejo por proximidade emocional.
Pouco depois desse blog ganhar alguma popularidade, algumas pessoas começaram a questionar se a definição de atração alternativa não estava implicitamente colocando atrações platônicas como menos importantes do que românticas, além de prejudicar os esforços de redefinir relacionamentos platônicos como não necessariamente restritos a amizades. Ambas essas questões são lutas que a comunidade arromântica já tinha por anos.
Para que todes estejam na mesma página, vou desviar um pouco o assunto do texto para falar sobre platonicidade e queerplatonicidade.
Como muitas pessoas arromânticas não conseguem querer/manter relacionamentos românticos, nesse meio surgiu uma questão de valorizar amizades, e outra questão de relacionamentos queerplatônicos.
Essa primeira questão é um questionamento das normas sociais amatonormativas. (Se você não sabe o que é isso, pode ler o texto linkado, ou tentar entender pelo contexto abaixo.)
Em sociedades ocidentais, geralmente há a expectativa de colocar relacionamentos românticos como mais importantes do que amizades. Então situações como as seguintes são vistas como normais, ou no mínimo comuns:
- Alguém se mudar de cidade por causa de sue companheire romântique, quando isso não seria feito por uma amizade;
- Alguém abandonar sue(s) amigue(s) por conta de ciúmes de ume parceire romântique;
- Alguém parar de passar (tanto) tempo com suas amizades para se dedicar a um número menor de parceires romântiques;
- Outras situações aonde relacionamentos românticos têm prioridade acima de amizades.
Isso, além da expectativa de que todo mundo vai ter algume parceire romântique ideal algum dia, prejudica muito pessoas que não sentem esse tipo de atração em algum/qualquer grau e/ou que não querem esse tipo de relacionamento. Portanto, é comum que essas pessoas lutem para que amizades e relacionamentos românticos sejam vistas como relações diferentes mas igualmente válidas, e não como uma hierarquia.
O estereótipo de pessoas arromânticas como "pessoas que não amam" também gerou a resposta "mas podemos ter amizades" de dentro de comunidades arromânticas.
Mas isso, por si só, gerou outra questão. Nem todo mundo tem amizades, e nem todo mundo quer tê-las. Eventualmente, a identidade aplatônica passou a ser usada por pessoas sem vontades de fazer amizades, especialmente pessoas neurodivergentes.
E essas pessoas passaram a lutar contra a ideia de que amizades são necessárias na vida de alguém, ou de que ter amizades dá mais valor à vida de alguém. Mas isso já entra em outro assunto.
A outra questão que surgiu, como já falei, é a de relacionamentos queerplatônicos (RQPs).
Algumas pessoas na comunidade arromântica queriam poder ter relacionamentos próximos, mesmo sem envolver atração romântica ou convenções envolvidas com relacionamentos românticos. Então surgiu o conceito de RQPs.
Cada RQP pode funcionar de uma forma diferente. Mas, em geral, são relacionamentos não-românticos que envolvem alguma forma de compromisso. Parceires queerplatôniques podem querer ter relações sexuais exclusivamente entre si ou não (ou podem nem ter/querer tais relações), podem querer morar juntes ou não, podem querer se casar legalmente ou não, podem querer ter famílias juntes ou não.
Algumas pessoas tinham grandes preferências em relação aos gêneros das pessoas com quem queriam ter RQPs, então algumas pessoas passaram a se identificar como heteroplatônicas, poliplatônicas, mulheplatônicas, etc.
Outras pessoas não queriam RQPs, algumas dessas até achando que começou a ter uma pressão para pessoas arromânticas terem RQPs similar à pressão para ter relacionamentos românticos. Essas pessoas muitas vezes adotaram a identidade aplatônica.
Para resolver a questão do sufixo -platônique estar sendo usado para duas coisas diferentes (a vontade de ter amizades e a vontade de ter relacionamentos queerplatônicos), algumas pessoas resolveram que este segundo uso deveria usar o sufixo -queerplatônique. Assim, uma pessoa que não sente vontade de ter relacionamentos queerplatônicos seria aqueerplatônica (ou aqp).
Algumas pessoas usam o sufixo -amical para indicar vontade de fazer amizades, mas isso é relativamente raro.
Enfim, a questão é que comunidades arromânticas tinham bons motivos para suspeitar da inclusão de uma atração supostamente "entre platônica e romântica". Essas pessoas achavam que o conceito de atração alternativa estava tentando apagar a ideia de que relacionamentos platônicos (incluindo tanto amizades quanto RQPs) poderiam ser tão importantes quanto relacionamentos românticos, mesmo que esta não tivesse sido a intenção.
Algum tempo depois dessa polêmica, eu tive que traduzir alterous para incluir esse conceito no Orientando. Até aquele momento, eu achava que alterous era só uma palavra em inglês que eu não conhecia, já que palavras como sexual, romantic, platonic e afins eram todas palavras já existentes. Mas eu não consegui achar a palavra fora do contexto de atração, e também nunca achei a origem da palavra.
Considerei usar [orientação/atração] alterosa, mas no fim decidi por alternativa. Ela é, afinal, diferente das outras de uma forma difícil de resumir, e eu não queria passar vergonha adaptando mal uma palavra que não sei como foi escolhida.
Tanto essa tradução quanto a descrição que estava até agora pouco no Orientando (desejo de familiaridade e intimidade com alguém, de forma geralmente descrita como entre platônica e romântica) foram feitas antes de eu saber da descrição mais interessante dessa atração com a qual já tive contato.
Num grupo no Discord, uma pessoa arromântica e aplatônica que sente bastante atração alternativa (alguém confiável, mas que nunca postou sobre isso em nenhum lugar para não receber ódio), falou sobre atração alternativa ser qualquer atração emocional que não é 100% platônica ou 100% romântica.
Tal pessoa, que é NB, falou que atração alternativa é basicamente uma atração emocional "não-binária", porque inclui atração que é uma mistura de romântica com platônica, que não tem nada a ver com atração romântica ou platônica, que é parcialmente uma dessas duas e parcialmente outra coisa, que não pode ser definida, etc.
Nesse caso, pessoas que classificam sua atração queerplatônica como diferente de uma atração platônica poderiam dizer que sua atração queerplatônica está dentro do guarda-chuva da atração alternativa.
Portanto, eu sugiro definir atração alternativa de alguma forma parecida com esta:
Atração alternativa é uma atração que envolve o desejo de proximidade emocional, mas que não é nem 100% platônica e nem 100% romântica. Pode, assim, ser uma mistura entre estas duas atrações, relacionada a atração platônica ou romântica sem ser idêntica, algo completamente diferente das atrações romântica e platônica, entre várias outras possibilidades.
Também vale lembrar que algumas pessoas possuem relacionamentos alternativos, sem achar que eles se encaixam em RQPs. Outras pessoas usam os dois termos.
Ao revisitar a descrição de atração alternativa daquela pessoa (para passar os pontos principais dela aqui), percebi que foi uma atração descrita como emocional. Essa é uma das únicas vezes que vi uma atração sendo descrita desta forma, sendo que a outra vez que lembro de ter visto isso foi quando pesquisei sobre conteúdo sobre atração alternativa em português e me deparei com esta lista, que divide os tipos de atração mais conhecidos entre físicas e emocionais.
Eu não sei o quão bem essa divisão funciona, mas enfim, achei relevante colocar a informação aqui.
Para terminar, eu gostaria de falar sobre uma discussão que houve naquele mesmo grupo de Discord, sobre que tipo de orientação alternativa pode ser considerada marginalizada.
Uma pessoa estava com a opinião de que pessoas analternativas (sem atração alternativa) são a norma, enquanto pessoas com atração alternativa não possuem muito espaço para discutirem sues atrações e relacionamentos úniques; fora que relacionamentos alternativos, assim como queerplatônicos, estão fora das normas sociais.
Outra pessoa argumentou que, como alguém que não sentia praticamente nenhum tipo de atração, não ter atração alternativa não é uma vantagem. Afinal, sentir qualquer tipo de atração/ter qualquer tipo de relacionamento, ao menos na maioria das sociedades ocidentais, é algo que valida mais a existência de alguém. "Pessoas arromânticas e assexuais ao menos podem ter amizades/RQPs" é uma tentativa de assimilação, mesmo que atração alternativa seja desconhecida demais para ser mencionada.
A conclusão tirada foi que não considerar uma orientação alternativa como relevante é a norma, enquanto sentir a necessidade de defini-la, independentemente de qual for a orientação, está fora da norma.
Espero que este texto tenha sido interessante, útil e explicativo!
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